The thing about spiders

The thing about spiders.

    We live on the sixth floor of an apartment building in the downtown core of a large city. Which (wonderously) means there are very few bugs. In a word: Fantastic. Except when there are bugs because, seriously they are so creepy. Like the time there was a praying mantis on our refrigerator? What? And then the spiders. But first some back ground. Mr. Sollywood goes to school full time and works a couple of nights a week as a chef. When he is here (in our apartment) there is never a bug. But he leaves and I am by myself for the evening and spiders come out of the wood work. There actually isn't woodwork, our apartment isn't that cool. But for the last three weeks in a row I have been all ready for bed, sitting reading and I look up to see a spider spinning down from the ceiling directly over our bed.

The last two weeks I have killed them. Some of you are going tell me that killing insects is wrong. But here is my justification for doing so. The first time I met a ceiling spider I told him (i'd say or her but the spider being female creeps me out more for some reason.) I told him 'alright you can live outside, or you can live in the living room but you can't freaking live over my bed and try to get onto my bed you freaking spider. Also tell all of your spawn'. (I wanted to cover all future spider occurrences-  apparently I jinxed myself.) He continued to dangle near my head so I killed him. Next week same situation- killed him too. This week I am feeling bad, thinking maybe the first spider didn't have time to warn his evil spawn about being above my bed. So I grab the webb way above the spider and try to get him away from the bed. But he disappears!! onto my BED. And now I can never sleep again. Here is why: too many people have told me that you eat spiders in your sleep. Clearly if he is on your bed than you will eat him. A+B=C. I choose not to eat spiders knowingly. Also the picture below is, I feel, an accurate portrayal of my feelings of what spiders are really like.

** warning the picture below may be terrifying to all viewers.



This picture is from here http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2010/03/spiders-are-scary-its-okay-to-be-afraid.html. For more information on the terrifying nature of spiders please refer to this blog.