We had hamsters growing up. Fuzzy little buggers became a bit of a freak show. Have you seen these guys? They start out all cute and innocent...
It began with George and Suzy. Nice enough couple. I guess you could call them newly weds in an arranged marriage. They got along just fine. They were spectacular climbers too. They would monkey bar all the way up the cage, hold on with hand and use the other to lift the latch on the cage with almost super-hamster strength and climb right out of there. But searching for escaped hamsters isn't all fun and games. You know how sometimes when you are dreaming, real life stimulus can affect your dream? So I'm asleep, I don't know, 10 years old maybe, and in my dream this giant spider jumps on me and crawls up my leg. I'm frozen. Sickest thing. Then I wake up.
Oh man, so glad it was only a dream... wait a minute... somethings on my leg.... it's moving... under the covers and making it's way towards my face.
THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON ME.
exclamation mark implied.
It move up my chest and I'm just as frozen as I was in my dream and then...
Freakin' George pops his head out right in front of mine. Blasted hamster nearly scared me half to death!
Well then they had kids and all their kids cannibalized each other! It was gore-fest but no spiders were involved at least.
I forget what happened to George and Suzy but know they children and grand-children were psychopathic hamsters. There must have been 20 of them at one time in that cage. Suzy one time carnivaled up the cage and escaped with 6 of her kids. They were gone for 2 weeks. We found them living under the stairs in a self sustained community made out old clothing.Well, after a few months only 2 remained. They fought to the death. I went to see them one morning and the winning stood over the corpse of his fallen brother. Victorious, we granted him his freedom. Off into the field to be with nature. His paradise awaits...
...I bet a hawk got him.
