The Beginning...

The Beginning...

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

to Seven we go

Alright alright, I've been denying being a nerd for the last couple of weeks, but these thoughts keep popping into my head. Thoughts like 'see you are a nerd,' 'that makes you a nerd,' 'wow nerdy,' and 'you should blog about that.'

I feel that this one story will illustrate in a myriad of ways just how nerdy I am. Count with me.

It is a Friday night and Mr. Sollywood and I spend it at his grandparents house. (1) After which we leave early not because they want us to but because I want to go shopping. (Not nerdy you say?, just insensitive- just wait for it.) I wanted to go to Ikea to get a bookcase. (2) But two might as well be three as we already own a bookcase which is full of books. To the point where each square is actually doubled with books. (3) See:

This is six feet by six feet. We got a second one just like it. Also the fact that I took a picture of it is (4). So we go into Ikea and because it is crazy busy I can't get one of those bed carts, so I am all impatient and find a regular shopping cart to put these three HUGH boxes on. I am wheeling it outside and the entire cart falls over as I exit the building and the heavy boxes fall to the ground so SO loudly along with the cart. The crowd of people there all turn and stare at me and my fallen things+ cart and I bow and say 'end scene.' (5) Which surprisingly someone gets, claps and says encore!!! Which made me so happy that I laughed and clapped my hands like a little kid. (6)Some of these might be more dorky than nerdy... BUT STILL.

On a side note as we were putting the boxes into the back of our car a girl walks by and says that she used to own a sunfire with red interior! (Our car, in case you were wondering, is a sunfire with red interior.) And she called it her little red rocket. hahah to which Mr. Sollywood shouts I call mine the big red! and for the next hour I thought about the interesting difference between the male use of 'big' and the female use of 'little' in their car names. (7)

End Scene

(new bookcase, and you should know all of the books from the case above are in storage still. These are all new in the last three months.)

Also I got two Rembrandt prints for Christmas. So cool!

Monday, December 13, 2010

What makes you a nerd?

Just so everyone knows (cause I know none of you are sure) Mr. and Mrs. Sollywood are nerds. This may come as a big shock but the fact that I wrote that in the third person should speak for itself. I also try to glorify Calvin and Hobbes by always slipping in a quote into my blogs. Calvin may have the best view on reality that I know of. Anyway, We like books. I enjoy spending time in the library on the weekend. I'm currently reading a book on addiction and I go to the comic book store every Wednesday because that's when the new issues come out. I try to use big words around under-educated people and then use poor grammar around others to see if they notice. This assumes me. I play angry birds on my iPhone. I listen to rock and roll from all era's and love string instruments like cello and violin. I also dig video game music - especially from bands like the NESkimo's and the Black Mages. My hair has been almost every colour it can be and I use to dress only in black. I have a tattoo on my arm which means "Majin". If you know the reference I need not elaborate. I enjoy identifying art from different time periods and I really don't give a crap about sports or Call of Duty games. I don't know a single football players name and I can't think of the name of any rap song off the top of my head but i can tell you Beethoven or Nirvana songs without a doubt. In my free time I just hope my wife is home so I can spend each night with her. I'll let her write her own nerd confession if she chooses. And anyone reading this, feel free to write down a creative and interesting response to what makes you a nerd in the comment section below. (reference, anyone?)

And you know what? I like being a nerd. Nerds get to be themselves and not worry about the mold of being cool. I'd rather be around nerds. Nerds are cool... and cool people are nerds... and that creates a paradox so disturbing the very fabric of the universe may be at risk of tearing and imploding in on itself! I better get my junk in order for when that happens. Gotta go

Friday, December 10, 2010

My Shinra Uniform

So I started working at Kelseys again... oh man. Months of job searching and nothing so I sucked up my pride and went back to Kelseys. It's not as bad as the one I worked at earlier this year which was really horrible. Working there made me want to throw kittens off a cliff. So its not THAT bad. The other day when I put that uniform back on I felt alot like when Cloud put the Shinra uniform back on. Remember that? Anyone? Final Fantasy 7? ... come on, it's like one of the best video games ever made! No one understands that reference, seriously? Fine.

I did have my first interview in a gazillion years last week. It's for a job as an intern and I would be involved in counselling for things like anger management, family issues and ADHD for people who can't afford someone with more education than I. I'm here for the lower class. It's what I do. It would be pretty sweet if I got it and I think the interview went well. In a week or 2 they were suppose to get back to me. I'm hoping the "or 2" part comes true since it's been a week now. Well I'll always have my job at Kelseys... oh man that sounds depressing... I'll always have my volunteer job at the Distress Center. Little better but still broke

Monday, November 29, 2010

Popcorn Flavoured Jelly Bellies

Jelly Bellies can be a fun surprise. What's that orange on? Mango you say? oh ya, and how about the dark green ones or any shade of red? So good. But whats that white and yellow flavour? Banana? That could be good. Roasted marshmellow? Mmmmm. Perhaps some tropical concoction. Let's give it a try...

POPCORN!!!??? are you serious??!!! That is the most putred, vile thing I have ever eaten! I become like unto this pumpkin - just tossing my seeds in the lavatory. I would rather have the Harry Potter beans with ear wax and puke cause I'm going to end up with puke taste in my mouth anyway so I'd rather not add the sick popcorn flavour on top of it.

And that is why it is so important to eat Jelly Bellies one at a time. The popcorn flavour will over power any other flavour combination and send you straight to the seventh circle of hell.

I give it one half breath mint out of 5. (Half is the minimum I am allowed to give as a rating)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Pon and Zi

These are comics that I found on the internet that I love. Anywho I have attached the ones that make me think of Mr. Sollywood. I really love being married, and the more I learn about being married the more I realise that choosing a spouse is incredibly important and I totally lucked out!
***Below is sappy, you have been warned, what am I saying, the above is really sappy too.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Ramley Burger

Good luck finding these beauties outside Singapore or Malaysia. And they may very well be one of the greatest things you'll ever eat! Hold on just a second cause it sounds a little gross... cheap beef or chicken wrapped in a fried egg, add various toppings like baked beans, cabbage, carrot, hot sauce, mayo and cheese and a sprinkle of greasy love. Holy crap, I want one right now. Its been over 6 years since I've been in Malaysia and was able to chow down on this awesomeness. Gila! Gila I say! (ya, my Malay has grown weak)

If you ever find yourself wandering the streets of Ipoh, Perak at night, hope you find a Ramley burger stand and it will make your life complete. I give it 4 and a half pepto bismols out of 5.

(By the way, Sollywoods Random Reviews is a new sister blog page to the Sollywoods. You can also read about the Ramley Burger there. Either click view out complete profile or go to

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Korea, can you feel it?

I think that a lot of the time I don't see the guidance I receive until after. For example, I felt very unhappy about going to Korea, and looking into it more Mr. Sollywood and I realised that the school we were being sent to was sketch. However there was the option to go with another company, demand a new school etc. And yet those options didn't 'feel' right. And I always struggle with the 'feeling' thing. Give me a logical reason and I am all over that. But tell me to go with my feelings and I just become so lost and confused. But I have been working on following the promptings of the spirit through acknowledging what I feel.
So this was the one of the first times that I really said alright feelings you will win this time, whatever it is you decide, I will do. (Which was big because that also meant that Mr. Sollywood would do it too.) AND who would have thought, I got it right.
North Korea is provoking South Korea, civilians have been hurt and some have relocated and war might actually happen. Now those of you who have kept up with the news since the last war in Korea might say that this is nothing new. However the stakes are higher now. Among a myriad of reason; the leaders in N. Korea want to ensure succession stays in the family, S.Korea wants to be completely sure that the global market sees that N and S Korea are separate (communism isn't cool in a global economy.)
I am glad that we are not in S.Korea super nervous about what is about to go down. Especially because knowing Mr.Sollywood he would have wanted to enter N.Korea (just to see it) and we would then be stuck there, in the work camps, hoping for war so that S. Korea could invade and get us out of there.

If only you could see this through Calvins eyes

Dear Santa. Why is your operation located at the North Pole? I'm guessing cheap elf labour, lower environmental standards, and tax breaks. Is this really the example you want to set for us impressionable kids? ...My plan is to put him on the defensive before he considers how good I've been.

Oh Bill Watterson, you understand the world from a perspective I envy.

So here's the thing. When I quit Kelseys 6 months ago I said I would never step back in that store. I left my greasy work clothes in the trash bin out of fear that it might cause an enormous explosion if I burnt it like originally planned. We were suppose to go to Korea soon after but that went sketchy. Then the past few months getting no where looking for a job. Working as a mayo sniffer, and unloading trucks. I also began working at the Distress Center on the phones. On saturday, a caller read the Food Basics flyer to me. Bacon is on sale until Thursday. It's going to be a fun job and may open some opportunities for me. But as stated earlier... here's the thing - I just crawled back to Kelseys. I had to psych myself up to walk back in there, was warmly recieved, and told I can have my pick at whatever shifts I want. Nice to know I have good repore (report with a silent t?) with them. Makes me think of Santa and why he is located in the North Pole. At first I thought I was the impressionable kids but I think now I'm more like Santa.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Who thinks of this?

Do you ever wonder where stuff comes from? Not like manufactured stuff cause its obviously China or one of those lame temp jobs I've had, but seemingly ridiculous endevours that are so obvious to us now. Like who was the first guy who looked at a cow and said to himself "I'm going to drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them." Gross man. And we all love cake. Flour, eggs, sugar, give or take a few other ingredients but someone at some point had to think let's just combine all this and see what happens. Flour alone - gross, raw eggs - gross, sugar alone - sometimes yummy but come on. While it is fallacious reasoning to think that an object is equal to the sum of its parts (fallacy of addition) but who thinks lets take a couple gross things and make something yummy. A freakin guru-slash-warlock-slash-kryptonian. Just kidding, I have no idea whether or not Kryptonians can bake. And have you ever seen the inside of a computer? Holy junk, how the does that work? I understand how action potentials work in the brain and release neurotransmitters into the synapses of the various sections of your brain that results in basically everything the human body does (want more detail and I'd be happy to but this is my blog, I do as I want and as my train of thought takes me) but I just don't get how these bumpy thingys on a mother board allow me to type what I`m typing or watch equals three because they have a flow of electricity going through them. A bunch of hokum I say. Burn the witch. And I'm sitting... yes I`m sitting and I just went back to edit something and forgot where I was going with that line. A synapses misfired. But I do enjoy the dopamine I get from Hersheys chocolate.
When I was younger I wanted to grow fangs when my baby teeth fell out. I still have dreams of my teeth falling out but no fangs... There are many disappointments we have to relive over the course of our lives... like the dragon ball evolution movie. No wait, I`ll never watch that again. Ruin my childhood...... I mean late teens... to current. Let`s do a random Fight Club quote:

“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween... but no Calvin and Hobbes quote mixed in today

So I finally decided to upload some of the pictures from my iPhone. To the right, this lovely piece here is last years jack-o-lantern. We called him Jack. If you don't recognize it then just don't read my blog anymore. Go watch Nightmare Before Christmas and then you can talk to me again. Maybe. You may also want to bring me a fruit basket. I like those. Try to find one with papaya.

On your left you will notice my most recent abominable creation - Big guy eating small guy!! I never actually named it until now but I thought that was pretty clever for thinking on my toes... cause apparently my frontal lobe is in my toes now. And for the record, I feel there should be no age limit on trick or treating as long as you have a costume. Not one of those welfare costumes where all you do is put on some mask and think you deserve candy, oh no, it's gotta have some thought and effort. If some old guy comes up to me and he's dressed like a mental patient, a hobo or a zombie - he's getting a mini chocolate bar. Let me tell ya. Speaking of mental patients, Halloween brings up some interesting things to think about. Not only would Freud have something to say about an adults choice of costume (men dressing up as women for example, but I'm not going there on that role reversal thing right now, or my perpetual need become a creature of the night this time of year) but kids are suddenly asked to go ask candy from strangers. Perhaps you've heard this before - "don't take candy from strangers". Its been ground into our heads since we were toddlers in some form or another. But then suddenly once a year it's okay to put on a costume and ask for candy. So don't take candy from strangers unless you or them o both are wearing a costume. I feel this may be why people rob banks wearing masks. Its not necessarily to hide their identity, oh no, it's because we've told them from a young age that it's okay to take what you want as long as you are in costume and and say the right words. God bless Halloween.

I'm caught between sarcasm and seriousness with that last statement cause I think Halloween freakin rules

Monday, October 11, 2010

I've been thinking a lot lately about individuality and the proper treatment of the individual. (Maybe it is the twin in me trying to forge my own self out of the constant 'your are twins that means you are the same' and 'it doesn't matter that I called you the wrong name, you know I mean you, so just answer to another persons name.')

"To quote a poem I found recently How to be Alone, Tanya Davis. "Its okay if no one believes like you, all experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relieved." Thoughts are so unique Davis goes on to say "no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept."

From this I take the thought that each person lives a separate existence, sometimes linked together, usually not. But not a single person carries the same experiences with them as I do. And I do mean carry- an example. I was driving home from my mother's house last week and this overwhelming feeling of sadness came upon me as I drove down the roads I have driven hundreds of times. But the feeling of sadness was familiar. It is the one I am always aware of, that I always carry with me. I miss Jon, all the time, sometimes this ache is in the recesses of my mind and the ache is not so bad. Sometimes it is at the forefront and it is overwhelming. Others have lost people too. But aside from the difference in their loss and mine- there is a difference in what triggers the move of the ache from the back to the front. I drove down those roads hundreds of times after Jon died to try and sooth the ache, and thus when I drive down them now it subconsciously reminds me of that time when the ache was always at the fore.

I will always carry with me this ache, and I am always aware of it. Did you know that about me? I share this as an example because it typifies what I mean by individual experiences. Each person has lived so much within their own heads and hearts that we are unique. Our inner monologue is seldom shared with others, our 'everyday' would shock another person to know.

When you ask me how I am, I don't say, "I am sad because of this ache, and I am happy for this other reason (mine personally is that I am a daughter of a Father who loves me unconditionally.) but I am at a nice balance today." Usually I say "well" or "good" or "not bad" so you get to know at what equilibrium the experiences I carry with me are that particular moment. But you don't get to know what things are on the scale to be equalized.

So here is the part that makes me think; if this is true for me, how much deeper and richer could my relationships and understanding of others be if I was let in on the things that people carry with them. Often this is personal. exceedingly so. So I understand why people don't share. But as a person who struggles with being judgmental it sure would be easier if I knew your experiences and where they stand in the balance at any particular moment. But to requote Davis "by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept."

As individuals we are unique, not rare but unique, singular in our beings. And each of us carries with us our experience which effects our actions and moods. If I encounter you when your equilibrium is not met today and I don't show you that that is ok (through kindness and patience and love) I am sorry. For everyone deserves to be treated thus. Perhaps instead of just keeping your thoughts you can share them, sure an essence of them might be lost but it would being us closer together, and it would make us judge one another less.

One last quote from Davis "If you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay... Take silence and respect it." It is ok that we don't share too, because we are individuals we are solitary beings and that is ok. I can take your silence and respect it, I can try, on my own, to show love, kindness and patience without knowing why your equilibrium is off today. I can try to find that essence that might be lost.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The monster that would drag me to Perdition

I'm a mayo sniffer. Bet you didn't even know that was a job! Ever since we bailed on Korea I've been working temp jobs and this was my latest. I'm learning real skills that I can apply to the rest of my life... sniff the seal to see if you can smell mayo. If you can't, put on a new lid and grab another bottle. Seriously, the only thing keep me sane the past 3 days was reading the Count of Monte Cristo on my iphone. (Title reference) Which has been a good read. I highly recommend. But I'll never go back to anything E.D. Smith. You shouldn't either. Terrible, terrible place to work.

On another note - Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too. This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn't going out. He says it's colder cause the Earths orbit is taking us further away from the sun. He says winter will be here soon.
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

(The different colours have been my attempt to actually get all my text to show. The old blog is being difficult for some reason. But i wanna smash it cause it's gay. But I won't. I'll just call it homophobic names because a little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day)


Wants to see how long the Ollie poo will remain on the carpet before it is cleaned up. So far Ollie has been gone for 30 days.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


So I suppose a proper update is in order. The thing is that nothing has happened. So I have wanted to blog for a while, vent the feelings, laugh at the events but there have been no feelings, no events... so that leaves me with nothing.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Great Unknown

Alright here it is: We are not going to Korea (at least not right now.)
I'd love to leave it at that but I realise that there will be an influx of emails, phone calls, and posts if I do not expand. We have been thinking about it a lot recently and did a little bit of research. The school they wanted to send us to had nothing but bad reviews (poor working conditions, housing conditions, late or no payments, no time off, doubled classroom sizes, no materials etc.) The agency we were going through has not been very forth coming or particularly helpful either. So we have decided that we are tired of putting off real life to wait to go to Korea. As exciting as it would have been, it isn't cool for us right now. Doesn't jive.
On a personal note I am fairly certain that my life is never supposed to be exciting; Japan and now Korea.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


When I get hungry – and I mean hungry – there are only five words that can satisfy me: All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. They’re like libraries of food, but instead of late fees, they’ve got soft-serve. I hit up the local buffets at least once a month, sometimes more depending on how business is going. It really breaks up my normal routine of soup, soup, tuna, soup, microwave pasta, tuna-soup casserole.

Most people think you’ve got to eat meat to fill up at buffets. No way, suckers. It’s all about the sauces. Think about it: your body is mostly made up of fluid. Blood, water, guts. It’s all liquid. So does it make sense to shove a whole bunch of solids down your gullet? Think again. You want to stock up on the sauces because they’ll keep you full the longest. Go for a big old glass of Alfredo sauce and you won’t eat for weeks. Chinese buffets are great for this, too. Kung pao might be spicy, but you drink enough of it and you won’t even be able to think about eating.

Friday, August 20, 2010

permanently transient

We moved. Again. Because we are up there on the 'Most Transient People' list. In the 14 months we have been married we have moved 4 times (if you count the move into our first place together- which was a big deal, so I do.) It was such a fast crazy move that we haven't even had a chance to tell a lot of people about the move. SO if you read this and don't have our new contact information email us and we can send it to you. and Sorry if you are the 'last to know everything.'
I think my transience has worn off on Mr. Sollywood because in the last 3 years I have lived in 7 places. But I am looking forward to a full year in Korea. Then (fingers crossed) a full year or two!! wherever Mr. Sollywood goes to graduate school then GASP a real full time possibly for the rest of our life house. Permanency seems like a strange foreign concept. More foreign than Korea and more foreign than foreign moments. NO SCOTT JACKSON.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Yesterday and today were interesting days. We are house sitting for Mr. Sollywood's sister and brother-in-law for the summer and unexpectedly they are coming home two weeks early. Not a big deal really, just means we have to de-cat-ify the house (he is major allergic) and move all of our stuff in two days. and it means for my last week of work I will need to 1. commute 1 hour each way for a 4hour shift everyday next week or 2. find a place to stay for the week. neither option is terribly hard. nor terrible good. But yesterday I got a full time job at this laundry place which I worked at a number of summers a year and loved! So excited, and today I went to work to find that it had burned down in the night. If we had gone to Korea at the original dates coming home early and having/not having a job would have worked out perfectly.
burninating the country, burninating the peasants and their thatched roof cottages!!!!!!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Underwear day

Today is the day filled with underwear.
'underpants go under your pants'.
Today Mr. Sollywood pulled a pair of my underwear out of his suit pocket during Sunday School. And of course they were lacy. Then when we got home all of my bras were strewn about on the living room floor. All of my bras (except the one I was currently wearing.) WHAT THE HECK! WHY are my underthings on display for the world to see?!?!?! and HOW did they get there to be seen? I might have an answer for that last one. But if anyone knows why the world is culminating against me and my underwear please, let me know.
Last week my older sister gave me a pair of underwear which were new and were purchased a size too small by mistake. So I inherited them. But as we walked from her house to ours I did not want to be seen with underwear in my hand (little did I know that much worse would be in store) and I asked Mr. Sollywood to put them in his suit pocket. Then when we got home, we forgot about them.
Yesterday we did laundry and I sorted it all on the bed this morning to be put away after church. And our cat apparently thinks bras are great and calmly brought each one downstairs and left them in the living room, for us to happen on when we got home.
And there you have it. Underpants (should) go under your pants.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

the news of it all

A complete list of things that are new
We got accepted to the school in Korea, now to get the work visa.
Bev is moving to my brother's house, sad about that.
Mr. Sollywood's sister just had a beautiful baby girl! Lucy is beeyewteafull!
His sister and my twin sister are expecting their first babies. His sister is expecting her second!
I got new shoes which make me feel cool, like I just uploaded something.
We just got back from a road trip to Palmyra, oh chill and grill yum yum.
Mr. Sollywood immediately picks up foreign accents (not new but new to me.)
The cherry tomatoes in our garden are ripe for eating, and the hot peppers are hot!
Technically the toilet seat is new. (sorry but I said complete)
oh for all those who have inquired about Abby/Fieldin
The night we brought she/he home it left in the middle of the night and despite searching and calling (yeah cause it would totally respond to two different and totally new names) the cat did not return. We have been putting food out which is mysteriously eaten each night, but the jury is out on just exactly what is eating it.

Monday, August 2, 2010

when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!"

I've locked my keys in my car several times. Who hasn't? Don't lie now cause I know you're thinking "not me!". One of the first times I ever spent any time with Mrs. Sollywood was in the University parking lot trying to jimmy my door open with an old wire hanger to get my forbidden keys. Right there on the passenger seat... mocking me... and I'm thinking why should I have to work for everything? It's like saying I don't deserve it! So on Sunday I did it again. Church parking lot, hot sun, heavy suit and keys on the passenger seat. I've grown this nasty habit of locking the door everytime I close it. So really, this was the fault of psychopaths and desperate car thieves. Meanwhile, my CAA membership has expired and everyones cell phone keeps dying when we call for help. Not mention those who ignores the call when coming from the church because of caller ID saying Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The copies of the Book of Mormon are free people! Just take'em. So we've got a crowd not, and a race to see who can break in first. I have given up seeing as my hanger was flimsey and just couldn't grasp the lock hard enough. We've got wedges and different hanger types going and finally a call to CAA but it's not for another hour so it's more like a time limit for the race. And the award goes to.... Brother Altamarano! I must have butchered the spelling... please forgive me, thank you for cracking into my car. Special thanks to Brother Lipick (spelling??) who lost time going home to get more tools. I could have broken in myself but I thought these guys needed the experience. What did you say? That contradicts something I said earlier? That was just a misunderstanding. Meanwhile, Mrs. Sollywood was having a hard time spitting cherry pits very far.

Oh, and then New Super Mario Brothers all afternoon at Christians. Good times. I wish I was sitting in a more comfortable place right now.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Gob- It's what I need

Today we had to record videos of ourselves for the Korean school we are going to teach at in October (fingers crossed.) They were brutal. I did not think it would be so hard but of course our technological disinclination made it so that the first day of shooting (yesterday) was for naught. ie we accidentally deleted everything. Then today our shooting took so long because the cat would not stop meowing, it didn't matter where we locked her- you could hear her on the video. GAAAAAAAHHH. But it is done and uploaded. (You can tell how un-tech savvy I am because I think 'uploaded' makes me sound so cool and smart)
This entire experience has made me so frustrated that I had to listen to Give up the Grudge by Gob several times.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Grandfathers and the Crazies

I have one of those faces, those faces that every old man thinks looks just like his granddaughter. The insta-love-you face. This is great is some respects; old men reach into their pockets and give me a mint with a wink, they smile and leave me their change. They tend to hit on me a little too, I think I remind them a little of their young wives too. In other respects the crazies are drawn to me. Two recent-ish examples come to mind. And this happens to me all the time. All The Time.
Example One
At work an old man comes up to me and asks 'hey guess why I look so good for my age?' Well he does yoga and he has an amazing singing voice it turns out. And I like the idiot that I am tell him 'well you can't just brag about your voice and not give us a song, just a little taste' IDIOT if I were any other person he would have laughed and said no. But alas, he starts to sing. A love song, no less. And not just a line no no, the entire first verse, then the second followed by the last. And at the top of his lungs. He takes my hand, he looks at me romantically and people begin to gather. By the end he has a huge audience and they clap and I beg inwardly 'please no one yell encore'. Turns out he does have an amazing singing voice.
Example Two
My father-in-law was in the hospital after having had knee replacement surgery and upon walking out of the hospital a man literally runs up to me and says 'are you Irish? Because you have beautiful green eyes and red hair and you look Irish.'

(note; I do not have red hair). But this is not the first time I have been asked if I am Irish. I think the ones-of-those-faces face I have is indeed an Irish face. I do look Irish, probably because I am. My maiden name (long story short) was Ladbrook. I digress.

The encounter with hospital man was not over. He bends over and says 'get on my back, you will ride me around like a pony.' Now I am used to this (it happens a lot) so I laugh good naturedly and decline. He of course insists and when I laugh and decline again he has Mr. Sollywood bend over and gets me up onto his back where upon the hospital man hits Mr. Sollywood on the bottom and yells 'get up!' So we gallop away.

So I raise my glass; Cheers, to the Grandfathers and the Crazies out there. Thanks for making my life so interesting.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Fieldie, Fieldin, Abby... We don't even know the gender...

So Mrs. Sollywood and I go out for a walk today. We can't find the trail that we intended to go on so we pick a random location outside Welland. Sure enough, 30 seconds into that walk we spot treasure! Money, jewels, diamonds and ancient scrolls were scattered all over the field! Well no, not quite. There was this uhh, animal carrier thing-a-majig. A half full, open bag of cat food, a full water dish and the largest black cat ever inside. Odd circumstances indeed. Very hot day too. I could have cooked noodles in it's water bowl. But this was exciting. I can't help but wonder what kind of desperate straits would drive man to leave all this. We have named the cat Fieldin if its a boy (cause we found it in a field) and Abby if it's a girl (cause it was abandoned). We don't really know yet since it was covered in its own excriment and obviously hasn't left that carrier in a long time. I wasn't going to check. I did attempt to bath him/her in the back yard once we brought him/her home but its pretty caked in there. You know, chunky crap in the big bushy tail. Ever see those candy nerds ropes? kinda like that. They're pretty good. Although maybe not anymore... Anyway. The guy won't eat. Just sits there in its own waste and when I could get it to move its very lethargic. Right now it's out back in an old dresser on top of my old Kelseys shirt. (I always wanted to release my bowels on Kelseys but never got around to it) Is it appropriate to joke around when I just started writing about a very sick cat we found? Is there a line between serious blog and my inability to write serious? I feel like I'm cheating on an ethics test.

Well, we clearly have a very sick cat in our possession now. I had hoped that this behaviour was only due to trauma but it seems likely after doing some research it's illness. Fieldin won't live much longer. But at least if he dies tonight then it won't be alone in a field, abandoned and filthy. It's just too bad that the previous family wasn't able to put him to sleep instead of abandoning him out in a field in the middle of no where. Now he's got fresh water, food, cat treats, a Kelseys shirt blanket and has been cleaned up. Animals deserve dignity in death also. I just hope there is as little suffering as possible throughout the possibly sleepless night.

It is not cool to throw your sick pets into the wild. Even if you do leave them with a bag of food.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Did I mention last post that Mr. Sollywood and I have been married for over a year now? Time zips by at an amazing rate. Still no word on Korea but we don't expect any until early August.
So we have a cat. She is a calico and goes into heat... uniquely. Not every two weeks like clock work, not a consistant degree of heat/annoying. No no she goes into heat depending on who is around. The ranking goes like this (from least to greatest) Omar, Christian, Dad. Dad is pretty much his own category though.

This Blog has been hijacked!!! OH NO!! Mrs. Sollywood left the room and that can only mean one thing.... Do the words 'complete pandemonium' strike terror in your heart? I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in and overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak! ...Though blogging!! AND NOW I HAVE CONTROL OF HER UNFINISHED BLOG!! MWAHAHAHA!!

I'm hungry. I'm gonna go see whats in the fridge...

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Socks

We just came home from work (it is 1am) and found a pair of socks on our front porch. Now I don't mean a sock, that was lost or blew into our yard. No, no. There are two chairs on the porch and on the one farthest from the stairs were two socks (a pair) which had been pulled off (they were inside-out) and left of the chair, as though someone had sat in the other chair to relax and put their feet up. And upon feeling claustasock (when your feet are claustrophobic because of your socks- everyone gets it at night, admit it.) So this person took of their socks while relaxing on our porch and then left them there for us to find. They are too big for me, and too small of Mr. Sollywood. So the gender of this person is unclear. My guess is a male, because of the style. SO if anyone out there has recently trespassed and wants there forgotten socks back, we have them... and will give them back if you just answer this one simple question."WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING ON OUR FRONT PORCH?"

Monday, May 10, 2010

Update in double quick time

So recently the Sollywoods have moved, we are house sitting for our sister and brother-in-law. I now am the proud owner of school debt and a BA! and Mr. Sollywood is a spring semester away from having both of those lovely assets as well! It is very exciting to be done school (and almost done school). The process has been a long one for both of us, but we are finally done the first leg. Mr. Sollywood wants to be a social worker so there is more school for him. And I would like to be in public relations, so potentially no more school!?! hahah. We are also one interview away from being accepted to Korea to teach! Which has been a long harboured dream of ours. If we are accepted we leave mid August.
and Although this isn't an update on anything big... being done school means that I can read whatever I like and not feel the gnawing guilt. This last year of school left me wanting to read so many books and not having time to do so. But I have started enjoyment reading once again! So far I have read Little Women and Little Men (I thought I would start with ones I knew I loved.) and now I am on to Animal Farm... I am getting the feeling I have read this one before too, but I don't remember enough of it to be sure. But I picked it up for $1.50 in great condition. Mr. Sollywood and I volunteered at a book riot a couple of days ago and got first dibs. I now have a lot of books. hahah (to those who helped us move I hear your groans of 'no more books') But the money went to the local Women's Shelter!
Mr. Sollywood and I are still working but we want different jobs so tomorrow is job hunting day. The ones we have are just a little stale now. Transient much?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ancient Definitions and Abilities

[<-----Mr. Sollywood at six, so adorable]
I have been thinking lately of womanhood and motherhood. How the first can flow so seamlessly into and around the second. Right now I am definitely in the womanhood stage, trying desperately to cling to the girlhood stage. However the longer I am married and the more I set goals the more I leave behind my childish fancies and take up the noble mantle that is ours to hold and carry. The opportunities and abilities women possess and the amount we can accomplish is exhilarating. It is amazing to me that so few women really understand the potential that we have. The influence that is ours whether we want it or not. That is the part that brings tears. I see those women around me who influence without knowing and would be so shamed to see how they mold the lives around them. I see some of that in myself sometimes.
Good men, I have found, are drawn to good women and want to be influenced for good. (Is it influence then?) I include the picture of Mr. Sollywood because he is one of those men. There are however women around me who are worthy of the title 'Goodwife' an olde term which sadly fell out of use somewhere between the eighteenth and nineteenth century. It is a title of respect given to some women within a community who encompass all the qualities of virtue and nobility which women are capably of possessing. I recently wrote a paper on midwifery and women in early North America and it is from there that these musings have stemmed.
The gentle role of wife and the noble role of mother have been so innate in women for so long that I have to laugh at myself. I am usually a logical rationally minded woman. Modern even. I analyze most of my thought prior to action and act accordingly, which outwardly seems good and progressive however inwardly it sometimes leaves me feeling empty... it is here that my musings have led me.
I, Mrs. Sollywood, have the ability to follow the spirit of these women. The spirit which they were led by and which allowed them to be Goodwives. And goodmothers (that term I just made up, call it a literary license.) Somethings the promptings of this spirit seem irrational, it is fine when they are. There is nothing in the above that means I can't have the career I've always wanted, or to travel around the world or live in a different country every few years. I can be as well educated and bold as I please. BUT I can't ignore the spirit. I can't ignore the important things like gentle words, and soft rebukes, thoughtful actions, and slowness to anger, loving tenderness, and mothering, whether I am a mother or not. I found this bit of poem, A mother is speaking of her daughter...

her limbs lengthening by the day
her health filling our home

that she came from my body!
a memory so huge I forget day to day

- for if I remembered that roundness,
that sever pressing, that ancient definition of woman

I am so happy for all those around me who are entering into the motherhood portion of life, and I hope they don't forget about their womanhood. I have to figure out how to master womanhood before Mr Sollywood and I consider motherhood/fatherhood. (Don't get all excited and ahead of yourselves here) I need to learn to follow that ancient spirit. Hold that mantle. Act on my exhilaration. Be a gentle influence.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy

These myths are more then just pretty stories and traditions to delight children. Or modify behavior. Each of the these three traditions asks a child to believe the impossible in exchange for a reward. These are stepped up tests to build a childs faith and imagination. The first test is to believe a magical person, with toys as the reward. The second test is to trust in a magical animal, with candy as the reward. The last test is the most difficult, with the most abstract reward: to believe, trust in a flying fairy that will leave money.

From a man to an animal to a fairy.
From toys to candy to money.
Thus, intrestingly enough, transferring the magic of faith and trust from sparkling fairydom to clumsy, tarnished coins. From gossamer wings to nickles... dimes... and quarters. maybe even a lucky loonie.
In this way, a child is stepped up to even greater feats of imagination and faith as he or she matures. Beginning with Santa in infancy and ending with the tooth fairy as the child acquires adult teeth. Or, plainly put, beginning with all the possibility of childhood and ending with absolute trust in the national currency.

Talk about frustrating. All that pretense and reality flux. Some mythological fat-so drives our national economy.

A child who is never coached with Santa Claus may never develope the ability to imagine. To him, nothing exists except the literal and tangible.
A child who is disillusioned abruptly, by his peers or siblings, being ridiculed for his faith and imagination, may choose never to believe anything - tangible or intangible - again. To never trust or wonder.
But a child who relinquishes the illusions of Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, that child may come away with the more important skill set. That child may recognize the strength of his own imagination and faith. He will embrace the ability to create his own reality. That child becomes his own authority. He determines the nature of his world. His own vision. And by doing so, by the power of his example, he determines the reality of the other two types: those who can't imagine and those who can't trust.

If you get everyone telling the same lie, its not a lie anymore.

So whats the point of all this? Sometimes everything just seems fake to me... especially when avoiding an essay to write

Monday, March 22, 2010

Muffle This!

I am driving Mr. Sollywood to school today after eating junk food for lunch (that's right we are adults) and revelling in the youthful 'who even gives a care-ness' of it all. And the big red goes 'rrrrrrrr...rrrooaaar' and we look at each other with our 'on no' faces now securely fastened to our skulls. The big red is our car. This is the second time he has made this terrible lionesk noise and the last time was expensive. So the 'who even gives a care' moment is gone and reality rushes back in all of its expensive glory- may I just say that being an adult sucks.
I drop Mr. Sollywood off and turn the corner and I feel the car get lighter, and I hear the small clunk that fills you with dread. And there, in my rearview mirror is our beloved muffler laying all lonely and lost in the middle of the road. So I think to myself
"What good is a muffler really? Are they that important? Should I just wave goodbye and say so long or should I go and get the lost muffler and take him home with me?
I pulled a Uey or U-turn and put the poor lost muffler in the trunk and there he sits this very minute because I don't know what Mr. Sollywood wants to do about it. My vote is to learn how to fix it myself and get all oil stained and gross doing it!!! But Mr. Sollywood will probably just want to call a mechanic and get them to deal with it quickly. Mr. Practical.
So that is my rant, End Scene.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

UFO's are really just human tourists visiting us from a distance future. All hail the Dairy Queen!

Ever wonder who is posting here?

Anyway, Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, people won't be famous for 15 minutes. Instead, everyone will just sit next to someone famous for 15 minutes. I have finally met the Dairy Queen. I wanted a blizzard from her. And an orange Julius. I say "I'll have a medium orange Julius and medium banana cream pie blizzard please." She replies "what kind of orange Julius?"... please...

"what size?"

...medium please...

"and a banana split?", and banana cream pie blizzard...

"large?", medium please...

All hail the Dairy Queen!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

It's to late to Apologise

I am born and bred Canadian, I love this country and what it represents. I cry each and every time I sing the National Anthem, I study this nations history at University (history major), I read the works of its authors and poets, watch the films of its directors and actors and laugh at its comedians. For many Canadians being patriotic means being anti-American, but I disagree. And I have to admit, I love their founding fathers. The standards or those men, the expectations, and vision for their country were beautiful, and although Americans have departed from them in many ways, I can't allow this to taint my love of the idea of 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,' or the honour code these men held themselves accountable to. (Yes I am aware of the clips slightly satirical nature.)
Maybe this (see below) only strikes you if you have the back ground knowledge on the founding father that I do, but hopefully not.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sometimes, you wake up and have to ask where you are

Our bed broke the other day. Deliver me from Swedish furniture. Now there's little wood shavings and a dip in the bed with an old air mattress holding it up. Deliver me from clever art. Oh well, nothing is static. Even the Mona lisa is falling apart.

Here's another haiku:

Watching white moon face
The stars never feel anger
blah blah blah the end

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

children 400, adults 15, me?

I have been thinking a great deal about laughter lately. How important it is to be happy and to let myself enjoy life to my fullest extent. Which anyone who knows me well, knows that is a lot. But for some reason I fall into self conscious funks where I don't show how much I enjoy something because people will think I'm strange. But as my birthday resolution (I find it more significant to resolve at the beginning of a new year for me, vs for everyone.) I am going to enjoy life and all its little laugh inducing moments. Which I think will be easy because Mr. Sollywood makes those moments perpetually. These pictures, for example, are of our fifth date, I laughed so much and had such a great time, I wonder if the impassible pass would be impassible in winter, because it wasn't in summer? Maybe we'll go again.

Friday, February 12, 2010


Worker bee's can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave

Something about a nice warm Haiku that makes the arm hair of my soul stand on end... or maybe it's just the hot chocolate....

Thursday, February 11, 2010


What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.I know that every couple claims “we were made for each other,” and perhaps every good couple is. And it really doesn’t resound with the power I want to convey when I add my voice to the millions of others... but... we were made for each other. Mr. Sollywood had my favourite song on his ipod on our first date. Which doesn’t sound like much but my favourite song is Pachabel’s Canon in D, he even had a rock version (can you say ‘had me at pachabelrock’?) Music has always been important in our lives, and to find someone who feels that passion, and that need for expression (either in making it, or finding that song that describes the feelings that otherwise won’t come out) is perfection itself.

I have never met a person who so desperately needed to find a girl to love him just as he is, and let him be just as he is. And I know that he loves me just as I am; anti-molly tendencies and all. I mean who else would have wanted a black and white, twenties wedding with top hats and canes? (Shout out to Sollymom and Sollydad for helping that come about.) Or have a Queen song as the first dance? (it is in the list in the player below; see I Want to Break Free)Just the Sollywoods, I am fairly certain. Separately, and now together we have always been labelled as ‘different, strange, odd, or unique.’ It is good to know I’m not alone in it anymore; having a partner in crime is much more fun!
Most of these things are fairly superficial in some ways. It is hard to pin it down in words the deeper things. It isn’t often that I am public with my emotions, but sometimes you have to be to show gratitude. Mr. Sollywood is the best man I’ve ever known. He is kind, and calm, and never judges, he is a man without guile. This month is full of lovey things, eightmonthaversary, Valentines Day, his birthday, mine, and so I thought I would get all that emo out in one post. I hate being sentimental in public. But like I said, you gotta show gratitude. So ... I love you Mr. Sollywood! And thank you Father.
A little off topic (well this falls under the ‘you are both so ‘different’ label’.) Mr. Sollywood and I are in the interview process to teach English in Korea, second stage is done for both, if we are accepted, we can stay together!!! (Who knew married people wanted to live together?) And we will leave in August!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

un?Equal Portions

I am home alone, again. Mr Sollywood is working the third 8 hour evening shift in a row and I am home alone, all missing him, and lonely. I should not be the one complaining, Mr Sollywood is working hard at a job he hates so that he and I can finish university. (it is worth it right?) Anyway, so he works hard and almost never complains. Everyone complains sometimes, but trust me he does not use his full share of complaining power, not even a tenth. For those of you who are worried and have suddenly had the thought ‘oh no, there is complaining power just floating around out there UNUSED,’ rest assured it is used. I use it. I use his share, and my share and probably somebody else’s share by the sounds of this post!

Back to my loneliness though- it isn’t like I don’t have things to occupy my time (did you note the word ‘university ‘earlier? It is synonymous with homework or more precisely, massive amounts of homework). I have just reached my capacity for the night and there is still another hour til The Return of Mr Sollywood.

Oh and did I mention that for some reason only known to the water god Neptune, our water wasn’t working today. Presently we live in a first world country, with lights that always turn on when you flick the switch, and water that always comes out clean and drinkable from the tap. Except today. Perhaps because it is January 30th? Maybe that has some sort of significance, (ok I put Neptune for Mr. Sollywood, I tend to think it was Lud) Or perhaps Neptune/Lud just thought it would be funny. Jerks. So yup, no water.