The Socks

We just came home from work (it is 1am) and found a pair of socks on our front porch. Now I don't mean a sock, that was lost or blew into our yard. No, no. There are two chairs on the porch and on the one farthest from the stairs were two socks (a pair) which had been pulled off (they were inside-out) and left of the chair, as though someone had sat in the other chair to relax and put their feet up. And upon feeling claustasock (when your feet are claustrophobic because of your socks- everyone gets it at night, admit it.) So this person took of their socks while relaxing on our porch and then left them there for us to find. They are too big for me, and too small of Mr. Sollywood. So the gender of this person is unclear. My guess is a male, because of the style. SO if anyone out there has recently trespassed and wants there forgotten socks back, we have them... and will give them back if you just answer this one simple question."WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING ON OUR FRONT PORCH?"