Compounding Life
Today* is a day of bitter sweet. It is a day that makes me so thankful and so grateful to believe what I do, to believe that I can be with those I love again. Maybe this doesn't happen in other people's lives but dates seem to compound in my life. Today would have been Jon's 27th birthday, and today Solomon women gathered around our beloved grandmother and said our goodbyes and preformed our final service for her. A beautiful memory I will always cherish. I know that those who died are much happier now, Jon with his sword, Grams with Gramps; and I see their happiness and am grateful and it doesn't hurt. Then I remember that I can't laugh with them for a while, share a moment with them for a while, cry with them for a while and I feel sadness for myself. It feels so long since I've laughed with Jon and such a short time since I shared a moment with Gram but the sadness is the same. It hurts and it weighs and I carry it with me. But it makes me pull those I love around me closer, so that I can have that laugh, that moment and that cry with those still here with me. So that I have those memories to remember and hold dear. And from those who have gone on before I gain the desire to be better. oh to be smart like Jon and to love like Grandma Solly.
*Written on March 3rd 2013 it was too close and dear to share then. I felt ready to share it now.
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